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00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:02,903
EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS
"Everybody Hates Gretzky"
Closed Captioned

2
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CHRIS ROCK:
Since I was the oldest kid
in the house,

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00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,574
whenever something went wrong
with Drew and Tonya,

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00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:11,212
I got blamed.

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00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,281
What in the world
is going on in here!

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00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,649
Drew and Tonya just ran through
and knocked all this stuff down.

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00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,517
Well, you know better

8
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,152
than to let your brother
and sister run

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00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,320
through the house.
Now, pick it up.

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00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,792
Whether it was something
I couldn't do anything about...

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00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,827
How could you let your sister
get the flu?

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How am I supposed
to stop the flu?

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...or whether it was something
I didn't know anything about...

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Why did you let Drew get hit
in the eye with a baseball?

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00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,336
'Cause I wasn't
at the game.

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Either way, I was responsible.

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Well, no excuse.
You're his older brother

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00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,808
so you're responsible for him.

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You're also responsible
for giving me

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another $3.22 worth
of ground beef.

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Don't think
he's not using it again.

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I'm sorry.

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Every now and again
I could stop a problem

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00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,588
before it happened.

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Drew.

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Drew!

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00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,497
What are you doing here?
You walk to school.

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I'm not going to school today.

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What do you mean?

30
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,572
I saw Wayne Gretzky
on Donahu yesterday.

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He's in town because
the Edmonton Oilers

32
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:14,508
played the Islanders last night.

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So what?

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00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,745
So I'm gonna meet him
and get his autograph.

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00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,779
Are you crazy?
No.

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00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,581
You can't just go off
by yourself.
Yes, I can.

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Do you even know where
you're going?
Not really.

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Got any money?
No.

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00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,417
What about school?
What about it?

40
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,452
Did you even
think about Ma?
No.

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00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,554
She's gonna kill you
when she finds out.
So?

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00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,122
That's if somebody else
don't kill you first.

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I don't care.

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Drew, you can't do this.

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See ya later.

46
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I was in a no-win situation.

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The only thing worse
than going with Drew

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was letting him go by himself.

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Either way,
if something happened,

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I was responsible.

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00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,883
Hold on, man.
I'm coming with you.

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Can't blame me if we both die.

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* Ah, make it funky now.

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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

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Riding on that bus,
I had two goals:

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to get that autograph
and get back home.

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So what's the plan?

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I don't have a plan.

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00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,628
Do you even know
where Gretzky is?

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The Long Island
Wilmont Hotel.

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And you think
you can walk

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right up to the room
and get an autograph?

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I haven't thought
that far ahead.

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00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,935
You haven't thought
this far ahead.

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00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,937
All right? We should just
turn around right now.

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00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,340
We'll be late for school,
but, hopefully,

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we won't get in
too much trouble.

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Well, go on.

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00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,286
That's the whites-only exit.

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Forget it.

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You look tired.

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I'm beat.

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I'm going to get some sleep.

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Sleep? Well, what
about Tonya?

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00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,302
Hey, Dad.

76
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,570
What are you
doing here?

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Why aren't you in school?

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'Cause no one's there.

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They're all in Philadelphia.

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You remember the field trip
to Philadelphia

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that cost a hundred dollars

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and you didn't want
to pay for it.

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Yeah. Instead you gave me
Philadelphia cream cheese.

84
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,318
Right. Well, what are
you gonna do all day?

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I mean, I gotta
get some sleep.

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Not today.

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00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,990
I've got to go to work, so
you've got to entertain her.

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My dad had saved
a hundred bucks,

89
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:49,497
but he was gonna pay for that
trip one way or another.

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This is taking forever.

91
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,900
How long is this ride?

92
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,368
How am I supposed to know?

93
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,036
Didn't you check before
you got on the bus?

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00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,305
Hey, man, calm down.

95
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,006
No, I'm not gonna "calm down."

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I don't think you understand how
much trouble we're gonna be in.

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I'm not even talking
about Ma anymore.

98
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,346
You know what's gonna happen

99
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,380
when they realize
we're not in school?

100
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,348
What's the big deal?

101
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,649
You always say that they never

102
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,318
pay attention to you
in school anyway.

103
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Drew had a point. Besides Greg,

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there was only one person
who would care

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if I wasn't in school.

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Morning, Shoeshine.

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I'm not black.

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Why'd you do that?

109
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,963
I don't know where Chris is.

110
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,634
Well, what about you?
Aren't they gonna miss you?

111
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,901
Probably not.

112
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Wrong!

113
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Donna.
Here.

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Drew?

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Drew?

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Oh, my God.

117
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Drew is missing!

118
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Drew is missing!

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00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,943
Back home, my father
tried to shut his eyes

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while Tonya shut her ears.

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Tonya.

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Can't you hear that phone?

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It isn't for me.

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Everyone I know
is in Philadelphia.

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Tonya: 1.
Sleep: 0.

126
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Hello?

127
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:38,939
Can I speak to Drew's mother?

128
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,508
This is Julius, his father.

129
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Drew never showed up
for school today.

130
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,743
What do you mean?

131
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He wasn't in school today, sir.

132
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Are you sure?

133
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I'm positive.

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He wasn't in Homeroom.

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Thank you.

136
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,016
You're welcome.

137
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What's wrong?

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That was Drew's school.

139
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He didn't show up today.

140
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Maybe he went
to Philadelphia.

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I better call your mother.

142
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Where the hell could he be?

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We're here.

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Yippie.

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*

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This doesn't look
like Long Island.

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This is not.

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00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,247
This is Coney Island.

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If this was Survivor, I would
vote Drew off the island.

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I can't believe
you got on the wrong bus.

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You got on it, too.

152
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I was just
following you, stupid.

153
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,830
Don't you know
the difference

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between Coney Island
and Long Island?!

155
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,100
Yeah, Long Island is
the shape of your head.

156
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,569
Shut up!

157
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,536
Hey, shut up.
Don't tell me

158
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what to do.
Hey, break it up!
Break it up!

159
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What's wrong with you two guys?

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He got us lost.

161
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Nobody asked your stupid butt
to come anyway!

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Where are you heading to?

163
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,645
The Long Island
Wilmont Hotel.

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00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,514
I wanna meet Wayne Gretzky
and get his autograph.

165
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,215
You mean "The Great One"?
Number 99?

166
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,150
Yeah, you're
a hockey fan?

167
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,285
Oh, I love it.

168
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,688
We must be the only three black
hockey fans in New York.

169
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,122
Uh, I'm not a hockey fan.

170
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,557
Well, I guess it's just us then.

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And the few guys
playing in the NHL.

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00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,528
What?
Wait, there are
black hockey players?

173
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:08,729
Oh, yeah.

174
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,097
Willie O'Ree was the first.

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Played with the
Boston Bruins.

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00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,834
And now they've got Grant Fuhr.
He plays with Gretzky.

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He's a goalie.

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Which technically makes him
a target.

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00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,139
Do you know how to get
to Long Island from here?

180
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,941
No, but I'll ask
this gentleman here.

181
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,743
Excuse me, sir?
Mm-hmm.

182
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,645
Would you happen to know
the directions to Long Island?

183
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,880
Yeah.

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00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,482
You're gonna
take that bus

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00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,117
over there to the
Seven Line.

186
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,585
Seven Line.

187
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,754
And then you're gonna take that
to Flushing...

188
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,823
Flushing, stupid!

189
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,725
...and you're gonna take
the Long Island Railroad

190
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to Westbury.

191
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Westbury.

192
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Thank you, sir.

193
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,596
You're welcome.

194
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,631
By the way, I'm Drew

195
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,632
and this is my brother,
Chris.

196
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,066
Hi, I'm Willie O'Ree. Pleasure.

197
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,504
Nice to meet you.

198
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:51,972
When Willie scored three goals

199
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,607
they didn't call it
the hat trick.

200
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,808
They call it the black trick.

201
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,745
While we were looking
for Gretzky,

202
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,613
back at home,
they were looking for us.

203
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,649
Yeah, I'll hold.

204
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,085
Where you been?

205
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,754
Upstairs in Chris
and Drew's room

206
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,622
looking for clues.
Great idea.

207
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,657
What'd you find?

208
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,659
Well, I found
firecrackers,

209
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,662
smoke balls,
Chris' old test,

210
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,996
looks like he
got an "F"--

211
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,998
maybe we should do
something about that,

212
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,166
Mommy's Turtles--

213
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,034
feels like they ate
half of the box,

214
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,870
and Playpen magazine.

215
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,038
You know they have naked women
in here, right?

216
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,974
Are you still there?
Yes, yes, I'm still here.

217
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,676
So, it appears
Chris hasn't shown up yet.

218
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,544
No, sir.
He's not there?

219
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:33,113
We'll call you if he does.
Thank you.

220
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,649
I got here as soon as I could.
Any word from Drew?

221
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,985
No, but I just got off the
phone with Chris' school.

222
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:38,852
And what they say?

223
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,621
He didn't show up for school,
either.

224
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,189
Ooh, they're gonna get it.

225
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,224
When do I not get it?

226
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,859
Well, let's go.

227
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,060
Where are you going?

228
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,062
We're going to look
for Chris and Drew.

229
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,732
We just can't sit around here
all day.

230
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,634
You're looking
at Playpen Magazine

231
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,302
when our sons
are missing?

232
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,103
It was in the...

233
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,671
It was open. It
just fell open.

234
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,672
I...

235
00:08:58,706 --> 00:08:59,740
Let's go!

236
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:01,274
Come on!

237
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,643
Okay.

238
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,777
Right.

239
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,647
Put it back!

240
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,017
We were headed to the right
place at the wrong time.

241
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,184
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

242
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,820
Where do you think
you guys are going?

243
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,723
Going to Long Island to get
Wayne Gretzky's autograph.

244
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,758
You're a Gretzky fan?

245
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,259
He's not a
Gretzky fan.

246
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,794
You can't be a
Gretzky fan.

247
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:21,729
That's what I said.

248
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,796
I'm a Gretzky fan.

249
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,965
He's the
Gretzky fan.

250
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,266
You see me and you?

251
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,268
We don't like the
same things.
No, we don't.

252
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,303
Why don't you guys go someplace?

253
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:31,805
Where you wanna go?

254
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,807
Where should we go?

255
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,843
The Jersey Shore
would be nice.

256
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,144
But this train
don't go there.

257
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,612
Don't you guys got
enough sports?

258
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:39,847
Hmm?

259
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,214
Basketball,
football...

260
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,216
Baseball, boxing,
track and field.

261
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,185
You gotta take hockey,
too, huh?

262
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,654
Whoa.

263
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,656
Hold on now.
We ain't trying to take hockey.

264
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:49,790
But we could.
All right.

265
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,659
So why don't you just leave us
alone?

266
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,827
Translation:
Please pick on us some more.

267
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,896
Is that a hockey
jersey you got?

268
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,898
That is a hockey
jersey.
That is
a hockey jersey.

269
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,066
You don't have a hockey jersey.

270
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,233
No, I don't.
No.

271
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,935
Yeah. Why?

272
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,036
Give it to me.

273
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,104
Give it to him.

274
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:04,805
Make me.

275
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,773
What?

276
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,107
Whoa.

277
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,809
All right, hold on.

278
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,343
Excuse me.

279
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,280
Drew, give him
the jersey.

280
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,748
I'm not giving them
anything.

281
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:15,916
Dad gave this to me.

282
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,718
Do you have any idea
where we are?

283
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,753
Yeah, somewhere
on Long Island?

284
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:20,721
Yeah, exactly.

285
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,956
We're not just surrounded
by two white people.

286
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,358
We're surrounded by a whole
borough of white people.

287
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:28,395
So, this is us.

288
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,865
And this is them.

289
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,835
So, give him
the jersey.

290
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,807
Wait a minute.

291
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,842
His jersey says "Gritzky."

292
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,444
It's got the wrong
number, too.

293
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,780
Keep the jersey.

294
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,181
Kid, look, if you're gonna
like somebody,

295
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,349
at least get it right.

296
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,051
Get it right.
Get it right.

297
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,854
MAN :
Next stop: Brockman Station.

298
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,355
Man, that was close.

299
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,157
I never thought
I'd say this,

300
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,827
but thank God
for Risky.

301
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,765
Chris and Drew are missing?

302
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:08,368
No, I haven't seen them,
but I think I can help you.

303
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,337
For just 17 cents a day,

304
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,272
you can adopt one
of these African children.

305
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,775
And the best part is
they don't live with you.

306
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,043
Ooh, can we take Ubingi?

307
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,244
He's so cute.

308
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,813
Not for 17 cents a day.

309
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,950
DISPATCHER:
Had a frivolous suit
with her neighbor.

310
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,018
Missing, huh?

311
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,320
It sounds to me
like they're caught
behind enemy lines.

312
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,789
Don't worry.

313
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,791
This is nothing a recon mission
can't fix.

314
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:36,396
Right. Take that. Here you go.

315
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,232
All right, let's go.
Come on. Let's go.

316
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,901
Hey, wait, wait!

317
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,035
Hey, hey, boys!

318
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,037
I think I see 'em
after all.

319
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,272
There we go.

320
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,374
Let's leave the nice man alone.

321
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,375
Thank you.

322
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,676
We could use him in Iraq.

323
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:54,748
DISPATCHER :
Separated the neighbors
at 29211.

324
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:58,986
Chris and Drew are missing?
Let me see what I can do.

325
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,889
One Adam-12, One Adam-12,

326
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,390
be on the lookout
for Chris and Drew.

327
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,827
Be on the lookout
for Chris and Drew.

328
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,295
Shouldn't be much longer.

329
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,430
Yeah, until they come
and take you away.

330
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:14,101
Oh, man I can't believe
we're here.

331
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,837
I can't believe I'm actually
gonna meet Wayne Gretzky.

332
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,838
How do I look?

333
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,339
You look like
we need to get

334
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,974
this autograph
and get out of here.

335
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:24,144
Hi, um, we're looking
for a guest of yours.

336
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,145
Name?

337
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:25,946
Wayne Gretzky.

338
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,347
Wayne Gretzky,
the hockey player?

339
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:27,915
Yeah.

340
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,549
He's not staying here.

341
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,852
Are you sure
this is the right hotel?

342
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,855
Positive. At the end of
Donahue, the announcer said,

343
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,323
guests of the
Donahue Show stay

344
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,490
at the Long Island
Wilmont Hotel.

345
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,527
Not all guests. If your leg
was bitten off by a shark,

346
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,195
you have
a terminal disease,

347
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,031
or you're so fat,
you need a crane

348
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,033
to be lifted out of your house,
then you stay here.

349
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,267
Athletes and celebrities
stay somewhere else.

350
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,002
So he's not here?

351
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,871
Sorry. Try one
of the other hotels

352
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,039
on Long Island.

353
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,240
How many other hotels
are there?

354
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,808
I don't know.
About a thousand.

355
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,877
A thousand?

356
00:12:56,910 --> 00:13:00,447
Cheer up. Only 999 more to go.

357
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,021
We were trying
to get an autograph,

358
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,423
but were getting more
than we signed up for.

359
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,026
Chris, I'm sorry, man.

360
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,862
I-I don't know what
I was thinking.

361
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,496
Like Wayne Gretzky
would be hanging out

362
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,898
in some hotel lobby.

363
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,166
Let's go home, man.

364
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,902
Wait, wait, wait.

365
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,104
We can't just give up,

366
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,939
especially when Mom is beating
the living daylights out of me.

367
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,241
I don't want to feel like a fool
'cause it was all for nothing.

368
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,410
We just got
to use our heads.

369
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,212
What do you know
about Gretzky?

370
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,015
Well, I know he's a season
all-time-assist leader,

371
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:38,151
his mom loves soup,
and he has a sandwich

372
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,020
named after him
called "The Great One."

373
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:40,921
What's in it?

374
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,923
Hmm, Canadian bacon,

375
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,591
maple syrup, oh, and a pickle.

376
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,961
Oh, and it comes in a bun
shaped like a hockey stick.

377
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,329
Sounds awful.

378
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,998
I never had one.

379
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,166
It was invented by this chef
named Jean Lafleur.

380
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,937
Man, you know way too much stuff
about this guy, Drew.

381
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,571
Hey, you know,

382
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,941
he works in a hotel here
on Long Island.

383
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,142
Who, Gretzky?

384
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,044
No, stupid. Jean Lafleur.

385
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,278
Huh.

386
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,882
Here it is-- "Long Island Hotel,

387
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,884
Home of The Great One."

388
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,086
This has got to be
where he's staying.

389
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,555
I hate to admit it, but
that looks pretty good.

390
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,623
When we get there,

391
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,893
I'm going to have to buy you
one of those sandwiches.

392
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:21,995
Might as well buy me
a heart attack

393
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:22,996
with a side of diabetes.

394
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,066
Chris! Drew!

395
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,935
I just don't understand this.

396
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,602
We checked the neighborhoods.
Nobody's seen 'em.

397
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,972
We checked the schools.
Nobody has seen 'em.

398
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,206
I'm calling the police.

399
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,542
Oh, Rochelle, Rochelle?

400
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,978
Are you really going
to call the police?

401
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,546
Yes.
The New York
City Police?

402
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,081
Yes.

403
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,250
My father knew that
if you called the cops

404
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,218
from Bed-Stuy,
this is what happens.

405
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,054
Precinct.

406
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,989
Hello. I-I would
like to report

407
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,157
two missing
children.

408
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,092
Okay. Are they black
or white?

409
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,326
Black.

410
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,062
You have the wrong number.

411
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,500
Let's give it
a couple hours.

412
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,169
I'm sure
they'll show up.

413
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,938
As soon as we got
to the Long Island Hotel,

414
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,074
something told me
we had the right place.

415
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,541
Are all these people here
to see Gretzky?

416
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,676
Yeah, and if

417
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,245
we go over there, we won't have
a chance of meeting him.

418
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,981
So what do we do?

419
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,051
Ilook more like Wayne Gretzky
than that dude.

420
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,522
Come on.

421
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,124
I know what to do.

422
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,361
Hey, what are they doing
over there?

423
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,097
Uh, they're waiting
for Wayne Gretzky.

424
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,632
Who?
He's a hockey player.

425
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,737
Anyway, I got a pizza delivery
for Mr. Smith in Room 412.

426
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,239
Just go.

427
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,242
Man, that was brilliant.

428
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,377
You can get anywhere
with a pizza box.

429
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,479
That's how Bush got
in the White House.

430
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,747
So, now where
do we go?

431
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,083
I mean, there's 32 floors
in this hotel.

432
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,619
Well, I figure Gretzky's
in one of the nicer rooms,

433
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,554
which is probably
on the top floor.

434
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,289
Just call me Sherlock Homeboy.

435
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,761
Hey.

436
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,206
Told you.

437
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,242
All right, let's go.

438
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:18,745
Excuse me.

439
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,048
I have a delivery
for Mr. Wayne Gretzky.

440
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,050
He didn't order a pizza.

441
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,152
Do I look like
I was born yesterday?

442
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,620
But it is his room?

443
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,357
Get lost, kids.

444
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,659
Sir, I don't think
you understand.

445
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,794
My brother is a
really big hockey fan,

446
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,164
and we skipped school
just to see Mr. Gretzky.

447
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,331
Look, I can't help you.

448
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,732
Yeah, you could.

449
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,434
...so please
leave now.

450
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,470
Come on, Chris.

451
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,308
Gritzky?

452
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,410
Yeah.

453
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,279
My dad bought it for me.

454
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,147
Hockey's not too popular
where we're from.

455
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,650
Where is that?

456
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,120
Here in New York.

457
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,055
Bed-Stuy.

458
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,725
Hey, I'm from Bed-Stuy.

459
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,362
Let me guess.

460
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:12,199
Did your dad get that jersey
from Risky?

461
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,367
You know Risky?

462
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,736
Yeah, he sold me
a Darryl Raspberry jersey.

463
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,771
I had Dr. K.

464
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,174
:
I haven't see him in years.

465
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,342
So, you think
my brother

466
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,077
can get an autograph
from Mr. Gretzky?

467
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,245
Hey, sorry, kids.

468
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,679
He's not even here.

469
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,182
He has some business
to take care of in the city.

470
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,650
Well, when do you
think he'll be back?

471
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,819
I don't know.
A couple hours, I guess.

472
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,321
A couple hours?

473
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,588
That's not too bad.

474
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,757
Thanks.

475
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:41,794
By 5:00, my parents had run
out of places to look for us,

476
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,164
but there was only one thing
left to do.

477
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,499
MAN:
Precinct.

478
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,269
Yes, hello! I'd like
to report two missing boys.

479
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,503
Can you describe them, please?

480
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,704
They're white.

481
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,106
Just a minute, ma'am.

482
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,441
Okay, hold-hold on.

483
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:57,577
Ma'am, you reported
two missing white boys?

484
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,346
Damn!

485
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:03,216
We waited for Gretzky
like he was giving out cheese.

486
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,788
You guys
are still here?

487
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,157
Yeah. We're waiting
for Gretzky.

488
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,125
You said he'd be back
in a few hours.

489
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,260
Look, he's not
coming back, okay?

490
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:16,463
He had a change of plans
and went right to the airport.

491
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,564
I'm just
checking out.

492
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,767
That's it.
I give up.

493
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,337
Drew, I'm sorry, but
let's just go home, man.

494
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,412
Hey, wait.

495
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,451
At least his name
is spelled right.

496
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,187
Oh, man!

497
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,454
Thanks!

498
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,623
Gretzky wore that
last night.

499
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,458
You mean, he actually wore this?

500
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,727
Mm-hmm.
Man, I'm never
washing it.

501
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,563
Here you go.
Did Gretzky play
with this puck last night?

502
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,299
No, it's just a puck.

503
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,434
So, how are you guys
getting home?

504
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,668
Taking the train.

505
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,505
You guys ever been
in a limo before?

506
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,907
What do you think?

507
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,576
Even though I was about
to get in more trouble

508
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:06,446
than I could imagine,
I was glad I was with Drew.

509
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,249
In a strange way,
I actually had a good time.

510
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,684
Okay, listen up, you guys.

511
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,720
We're going to break this search
party up into groups of four.

512
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,355
You-- I want you to
search Varick Street.

513
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,155
Your group--

514
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,624
I want you to go
to Decatur Street.

515
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,791
Your group--

516
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,627
I want you to go
to the bus stops.

517
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,794
And you-- I want you

518
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,696
to search the
alleys, okay?

519
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,899
We're looking for two,
teenaged, dark skin...

520
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,201
white boys.

521
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:29,969
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

522
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,571
This is going to be bad.

523
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,340
Oh, yeah.

524
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,307
The worst part is,

525
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,343
you didn't even get a chance
to meet Gretzky.

526
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,510
Or Gritzky for that matter.

527
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:40,313
It's okay. It was still one
of the best days of my life.

528
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,514
Why, 'cause you got
the jersey?

529
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,949
No.

530
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,385
Thanks for taking care
of me, Chris.

531
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,553
I'm glad you were there.

532
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,321
Me, too.

533
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,390
The best part of hanging out
with Drew that day

534
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,825
was for the first time I didn't
see him as my little brother

535
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,394
I was responsible for.

536
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,230
I saw him as something more:
a friend.

537
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,731
Ready?

538
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,234
Ready.

539
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,236
* I've been watching
everything you do *

540
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,306
* Oh, yes, I have

541
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,375
* And I've been wishing...

542
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,010
Chris

543
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,346
No, it's Puffy and Mace.

544
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,952
Bye, y'all.

545
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,954
* Everybody hates Chris.

546
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:25,992
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